Comparison (and the Stories We Make Up)
Last Monday, Women for Women (W4W) gathered to hear from Kate Stewart, founder of Bauble Stockings—a company built from a simple family tradition that has since grown into a nationally recognized brand.
What stood out most wasn’t just the success. It was her story of perseverance… and her belief in what she was creating, long before others could fully see it.
She shared the early days—figuring things out, continuing to show up, trusting that there was something there worth building. And then, somewhere in the middle of that conversation, she said something that really stayed with me.
She talked about how easy it is to compare her company to others. From the outside, they can look more profitable, more established, more “together.”
But the truth is—we don’t have the full picture.
What are their margins?
How many people are behind the scenes?
Are they actually profitable… or just producing a lot?
What does it take to run that business day to day?
We’re comparing our real, behind-the-scenes experience to someone else’s curated version… without context.
And honestly? That’s a losing game.
Where Comparison Shows Up (Without Us Noticing)
I see this constantly with creatives and small business owners.
You see someone doing five shows a month and think, “I should be doing more shows.” But you don’t see that they’re exhausted… or barely breaking even… or have a team helping them pull it off.
You see someone posting every day and think, “I need to be more consistent.” But you don’t see that they batch content once a month… or hired help… or spend hours a day on their phone.
You see a polished, beautiful brand and think, “They have it figured out.” But you don’t see the years it took to get there—or the mistakes along the way.
A Better Way to Use Comparison
It made me think of something Seth Godin wrote: “Comparison is useful as a point and destructive as a loop.”
(For those of you who are not familiar with Seth, Seth Godin is a marketing expert, author, and thinker known for helping people see their work—and their ideas—more clearly.)
That distinction—a point vs. a loop—changes everything. Because comparison itself isn’t the problem. It can actually be useful.
It can:
show you what’s possible
spark a new idea
highlight a gap in your business
But the key is—you don’t stay there.
Turn Comparison Into Something Useful
Instead of: “Why aren’t I there yet?”
Try asking: “What specifically do I admire here?”
Is it:
their pricing?
their consistency?
their clarity?
their confidence?
Take one thing—and apply it. Then come back to your own work.
Why This Matters More for Solo Entrepreneurs
When you’re building a business on your own, your time and energy are limited. You’re not just the creative.
You’re also:
the marketer
the salesperson
the strategist
the decision-maker
Which means your focus is one of your most valuable resources. And every minute spent measuring yourself against someone else…
is a minute not spent building what’s actually yours.
A Simple Check-In
I’ve started catching myself in these moments. When I feel that pull to compare, I pause and ask: “Is this helping me… or distracting me?”
Because most of the time, it’s not clarity—it’s noise.
The Goal Isn’t to Eliminate Comparison
Maybe the goal isn’t to eliminate comparison completely. Maybe it’s just to use it better.
A quick glance for direction.
A moment of awareness.
A single takeaway.
And then—back to your work.
Back to your people.
Back to your pace.
Back to what you’re building.
Because the truth is: There isn’t one right way to do this. There’s just your way. And that’s the only one that actually works.
